How to run an advertising agency profitably…

In Dubai, Sharjah or Abu Dhabi three things are very common and found in large numbers.

1. Advertising Agencies

2. Women’s Beauty Saloons

3. People driving for the sake of driving and not intending to go anywhere.

Now, I am going to talk only about the first thing mentioned. Later, I will be back with vengeance to talk about the other two equally amazing subjects. So as the heading suggests, let us see how an advertising agency can be run profitably. I will proceed point by point, as by that way it will be more useful to future entrepreneurs. So here we go…

1. Buy a Mac. Don’t ask me what version of Mac, as long as it looks like a Mac it will do. If it does not work, buy a PC that works, but you should somehow have a Mac sitting somewhere in the office. This is to amaze and impress those small clients that will take your bait.

2. Have an address. I am not saying that you should have an office, but people SHOULD think that you have an office.

3. Take all your belongings and pawn it or sell it. Buy an expensive car, expensive BIG watch, mobile phone etc. that will make your existing/potential clients think you have good financial backup. Believe me, advertising agency work is 15% commission, 15% talent and 70% show or flaunting. The trick to get clients is to trick them with your accessories and ingenuity.

4. Now buy the cheapest labor possible. See, I haven’t mentioned creative designer, visualizer, graphic artist, copywriter, creative director, art director or anything of that sort, I said “labor”. Appoint any person/labor who knows some Photoshop and give him the greatest designation possible. Call him creative designer, visualizer, graphic artist, copywriter, creative director, art director or anything of that sort as long as he works 23 hrs a day. [Come on, give him one hour for refreshments, we are not inhuman, are we?]

5. Now print your advertising agency brochure with all the “comprehensive” solutions that you offer. These services should cover print ads to satellite beaming.

6. When you get more clients because of their bad luck and ignorance, don’t take more labor (I mean, graphic artists). Instead, train the existing designer to use his left & right hand on two mouses simultaneously. Boost his morale by stories of people who have achieved greatness by working with two hands. And, if possible, hint on the possibilities of attaining nirvana by using legs too!

7. Even if you screw up with a client, don’t worry. Many agencies survive and even thrive with once- in –a -lifetime business deals.

Now some tips. Always try for builders/ construction/ real estate companies. They have big money and always want their real estate brochures printed and delivered in that particular day itself. Even if you make mistakes in the brochure nobody will notice as, you know, real estate guys don’t normally READ anything.

That is why even doctors like them!

CLICK HERE to know why all copywriters go to hell!