A Dubai copywriter’s guide to professional expressions

I have seen my advertising agency colleagues go nuts and bang their heads on monitors while succumbing to the advertising agency realities. You might say that clients are same and are demanding and illogical round the world but I will only partially agree to this. Here real estate clients know exactly what they want when it comes to making brochures. [Especially when they really “want”!]. The real estate marketing manager will give you one competitor’s brochure he admires and all you have to do is copy the same look & feel. No creativity required, just copy & paste!

 

Here’s a list of  words (and respective respectable hand/eye gestures that go along with them) you can use while going through impossible situations;  words that are culture compliant, ego boosting and emotionally pacifying.

 

Situation one

When the client service guy says that he wants the completed brochure by Saturday morning on a Thursday evening,

 

Shout Faha Uha Cuh Kuu…

The Copywriter, Creative Designer & Visualizer can together say this louder. All of them can place both of their hands above their heads while shouting.

 

Situation two

Just before the project launch, when the real estate guys want a podium backdrop in the size 30m x 30m and they give you the company logo in a JPG format with size 2 KB,

 

Shout Fuw Ulk Coz Kabziz…

The creative designer can swear this alone at his cubicle. No specific hand gestures are advised as he is free to do anything with them in these kinds of grave situations. Whatever he does with his hands, he should remember to click on www.obituary.com to write himself an obituary.

 

Situation three

When the agency gets a mail from the newspaper that the given artwork size is wrong and the advertisement will hang,

 

Shout Faa Umze Chf Kaleshhh…

Designer can shout this aloud while slapping himself 7 times. Then he can go to the Creative Director and say that he cannot hear anything from today morning as yesterday he dreamt of heavy fireworks all through the night. He can tell him that as it is very evident from his experience that this situation will continue for at least 6 more days, he is talking a long leave. Then to make director understand the gravity of the situation, he can write a question to him in white paper <!–[if gte mso 9]> Normal 0 false false false MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 <![endif]–><!–[if gte mso 9]> <![endif]–> “What did I just tell you? I can’t even hear myself talking! Whatz happening to me??” and wear a quizzical look on his face. He should switch off his mobile instantaneously and rush home as fast as a comet!

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